Melancholy and the infinite sadness....

Sometimes I get tired of being sad. It is very exhausting you know. Constant crying gives you bags under your eyes and gives you combination skin. It is true. Please don’t argue with me. I am an expert. But I’m kind of over it. Not happy, mind you, far from it actually. But not like manically depressed and sobbing.

I am melancholy and the infinite sadness. I am melancholy but I will be infinitely sad. So what of it? What should I do? I can only do so much? My mobility is limited by circumstance. I can’t exactly go travelling. I can’t bring myself to go out and party every night. I can’t lull around hanging out with friends.

I need to do something. I have been trying my best to hold back on the self hair cutting because even I’m getting tired of that. I need something new to devote some of my melancholy towards. My kitten is a good source of mindless time passing, but he has his limits and is too blind to really peak my interest for that long. I think I am a bit too old to develop an eating disorder or start cutting. Drug habits and alcoholism: it’s like been there done that. Writing is a bit too self-involved. There aren’t very many interesting vices or habits left to pick up? Maybe I will try juggling or become a porn addict....