Thursday, November 27, 2008

Um... Like You Should Be a Writer or Something!

Wow! What a novel idea! OMG NOBODY has ever suggested that to me! Actually all my life I’ve wanted to be a secretary. I used to write next to my goals in grade school right next to wanting to be a princess and wanting to be the head coach of the Canucks.
Hey buddy, here’s an interesting idea how about you take your preconceived notions about what makes someone a writer and shove it! It’s not the 1980s anymore. People aren’t defined by what they do from 9-5 pm. I’m a sister 24 hours a day and nobody ever calls me that ( well except of course for my sister).

A job is a job. And I shouldn’t be judged on whether I seem too smart for the job or what my motivations are for the job. I should be judged on whether I can do the job. And you know what? I can. It’s not brain surgery. Don’t try to cram everything you learned in your three-week Human Resources workshop into a series of juggling acts for a basic admin job. Get over yourself. It’s not that hard.

Humpfh!!!!

Wednesday, November 26, 2008

I Can Make Love to A Crocodile

I’ve never liked ‘the oldies.’ They bug me and a lot of the time it all sounds like the same droning mid-tempo elevator music. Gives me a headache! But lately I’ve developed a new appreciation for the ‘oldies.’ At least some of them. I like the blues. I like the down in the gutter; going to shoot myself with a bb gun and make you watch blues. I like the I’m so poor, so desperate so drunk that I can’t even keep my words apart blues.

Have you ever heard of Koko Taylor? She sings this song called I’m a Woman and it so raw, so gutter, so real. I love it!
Here’s a sampling of the lyrics:

When I was a little girl Only twelve years old
Couldn't do nothing
to save my dog gone soul
My mama told me.
the day I was grown
She says "Sing the blues child, Sing it from now on".

I'm a woman,
oh yeah
I'm a woman, I'm a ball of fire
I'm a woman, I can make love to a crocodile
I'm a woman, I can sing the blues
I'm a woman, I can change old to new


I also decided I love It’s a Man’s World by James Brown. Now the James Brown I know was all hip shaking and hooting and hollering. But this song shows a desperate and vulnerable James Brown. It is so sexy. (It doesn’t hurt that I first heard this song when Nico and Arrasay danced contemporary to it on SYTYCDC).

My next favourite right now would have to be Van Morrison. Now I am not so dim to have never heard of Van Morrison. I promise. I knew who he was. I knew he influenced everyone from Elvis Costello to Jay Z. But I only was familiar with his big hits like Brown-eyed Girl and Moon Dance. The best song of his has to be “Do Go to Nightclubs Anymore.”

I'm not a legend in my own mind
Don't need booze to unwind
Don't have no reason to pretend
Ain't got no huckleberry friend
Alcohol was too big a price
That why I said hey no dice
When it comes to men or mice
Don't go to nightclubs no more.

I bought four new CDs online on Monday but I’ve barely listened to them (although I have listened to 808s and Heartbreaks a lot and it is so genius! Oh and the Virgins EP is so infectious I feel like shaking convulsively every time it comes up on my iPod.) I am obsessed with my oldies favourites right now.
Does this mean I am officially getting old???

Tuesday, November 25, 2008

30s the new 20, yo, I’m so hot STILL!!!

I don’t know why I always hated my birthday when I was younger. Actually I do, but that’s a story that involves a trip to the Shrink’s couch and some 2-ply tissue. I want to talk about fun stuff today.

I think maybe when I was about 28 I started being like OMFG my birthday’s coming! Where are you taking me? What nice things are you going to say to me? What are you getting me? Not out loud of course, that would be rude and presumptuous. But I love the idea of people taking you places and being extra nice to you and you know loving you long time.

This year I will be all by myself on my real birthday. Away from my friends and family and my cat. But I don’t know. It doesn’t exactly sound scary to me. It sounds exciting; adventurous. Maybe I’ll be travelling across the world’s biggest waterfall on my birthday. Maybe I’ll be at a boca juniors football game on my birthday. Maybe I’ll be tangoing on the cobble streets of Buenos Aires on my Birthday. Maybe I’ll be getting spa treatments and getting shitfaced in the hotel bar on my birthday. I don’t know exactly what I’ll be doing but I’m sure it will be fun.

And then when I get back I hope to celebrate over and over again with everyone I know and love.

Traiga en el 30s sucio!!!

Monday, November 24, 2008

Top Five Reasons I’d Rather Sleep with me Cat than HIM!

1. The cat may scratch my arms and legs in his sleep but at least he doesn’t burn my face with his three-day old beard or rip my hair out with his damn Mexican silver rings that he won’t even take off at bedtime.

2. The cats only wakes me up once at 7:30 am wanting to be fed, while he wakes me up intermittently to ask random questions about his latest article/story/upset feeling in his tummy.

3. When I wake up from a nightmare, the cat either runs away or stares up at me quizzically. I prefer that over the pseudo-Freudian mumbo-gumbo that makes the possibility of getting anymore sleep that night almost nil.

4. The cat likes to cuddles and then goes away to its own section of the bed, while he flops on top of it all and claims the bed like a conquering explorer ploughing over everything that was there before.

5. The cat may sniff at something funny but I have yet to hear him ask when was the last time I washed the sheets!


**DISCLAIMER** This is about no one in particular, more like an appropriation of many men exaggerated for effect! I love you long time!

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Barack the Future

Every time the American election rolls around we get sucked in. It’s easy to see why. The campaigns are louder, flashier, and sexier. But for the last eight years and the bells and whistles have been for naught. In 2000 it was all for naught over 543 votes. Not to get all slogan-y and cheesy but I think a change might be coming this time.

Barack Obama is one of the most eloquent speakers I have ever heard. I have a feeling that if he wins the election, he will go down as one of the most influential leaders of our time. Although I really loved Hilary Clinton and think that she would have made an excellent president she definitely did Not have the same star quality/ everyman mentality of Obama. Obama is like the guy next door but also very enigmatic. The only other president who comes to mind with the same quality is JFK.

What has really set Obama apart is his ability to stir the masses. His huge rallies have attracted 100s of 1000s of supporters and his ability to cater to both the rich company owners that donate to his campaign and the everyday people that would be the most impacted by his policies.

“You got these $10,000-a-plate dinners and Golden Circles Clubs. I think when the average voter looks at that, they rightly feel they're locked out of the process. They can't attend a $10,000 breakfast and they know that those who can are going to get the kind of access they can't imagine.”

He’s got the uber-rich so stirred by his policies and the prospect of change that they don’t realize or maybe don’t even care that they will be paying 20% more in taxes annually under Obama’s leadership. The fact that he is half-black, that he can actually speak (unlike the last Democratic candidate John Kerry), and that he is young and full of idea has really galvanized his position not only in America but across the world. But even he seems all the hoopla as extreme. He is just a man not some “MAVERICK” who is going to change America’s image around the world in 6 months ( sorry, Joe Bidden. I am actually NOT hoping for a crisis in the first 6 months of 2009, thank you!). He will have problems getting his bills passed just like every president.

“It's crucial that people don't see my election as somehow a symbol of progress in the broader sense, that we don't sort of point to (me) any more than you point to a Bill Cosby or a Michael Jordan and say, "Well, things are hunky-dory." There's certainly racism here. Professors may treat black students differently, sometimes by being, sort of, more dismissive, sometimes by being more, sort of, careful because they think, you know, they think that somehow we can't cope in the classroom.”

Barack is something everyone can swallow. He’s black, but not full-black. He’s against the war but supports the troops and the Iraqi people. He is rich and has rich friends and supports the free market but he wants to look after the impoverished.

“How does America find its way in this new, global economy? What will our place in history be? Like so much of the American story, once again, we face a choice. Once again, there are those who believe that there isn’t much we can do about this as a nation. That the best idea is to give everyone one big refund on their government—divvy it up by individual portions, in the form of tax breaks, hand it out, and encourage everyone to use their share to go buy their own health care, their own retirement plan, their own child care, their own education, and so on. In Washington, they call this the Ownership Society. But in our past there has been another term for it—Social Darwinism—every man or woman for him or herself. It’s a tempting idea, because it doesn’t require much thought or ingenuity. It allows us to say that those whose health care or tuition may rise faster than they can afford—tough luck. It allows us to say to the Maytag workers who have lost their job—life isn’t fair. It let’s us say to the child who was born into poverty—pull yourself up by your bootstraps. And it is especially tempting because each of us believes we will always be the winner in life’s lottery, that we’re the one who will be the next Donald Trump, or at least we won’t be the chump who Donald Trump says: “You’re fired!” But there is a problem. It won’t work. It ignores our history. It ignores the fact that it’s been government research and investment that made the railways possible and the internet possible. It’s been the creation of a massive middle class, through decent wages and benefits and public schools that allowed us all to prosper. Our economic dependence depended on individual initiative. It depended on a belief in the free market; but it has also depended on our sense of mutual regard for each other, the idea that everybody has a stake in the country, that we’re all in it together and everybody’s got a shot at opportunity. That’s what’s produced our unrivaled political stability.”

His opponents claim he is too idealistic and too inexperienced. That is definitely a valid point. But I believe his convictions and his ideas save him. He doesn’t have much experience in Washington and maybe that’s what America needs. Someone who has actually lived in America and understands its problems as a citizen and not a politician.

“Nobody really thinks that Bush or McCain have a real answer for the challenges we face. So what they are going to try to do is make you scared of me. You know he--oh, he's not patriotic enough. He's got a funny name. You know, he doesn't look like all of those other presidents on those dollar bills.”

I really hope America makes the right decision!