OMG! H&M!

Sometimes you get into this zone, right? Where you are like this carniverous beast that can not Satiate its hunger. Like you just want more and more and more. You devour everything in site. Everything you see looks good enough to eat: that coffee in your neighbour's hand; that shriveled apple that has been on the kitchen counter for weeks; that small child running aimlessly dressed up like a big poofy ball of cotton candy.
That's how I felt at H&M on Saturday: except I wasn't hungry for food, I was hungry for jeans, shoes, bags, sweaters, tees and tanks. All weekend I would see someone walking down the street and i would think I wonder where they bought that shirt? I wonder if they have shoes like that at H&M? I wonder if she would sell me her bag if I gave her $20 cash?
I still feel it. I want more. I want everything in two colours and all variations. I thought I would feel a bit glutonous after the mega spree but I don't.
Well, I did for a bit on Sunday but then I went to the Art Gallery and diluted myself into believing I am really not that superficial if I can spend 3 hours in an Art Gallery on a perfectly shop-worthy day.
I still want more. I want to go back again, and again and again.
Maybe it's a good thing there is no H&M here, yet. I need to bring myself back down from this high. I need to curb my appetite for clothes before I end up furtehr into the poorhouse.
And i will.

Starting tomorrow. Right now, eBay and shopkitson.com are calling me!

I don't sleep... I dream......

can you believe I've only been there once? From the way I talk about it, and think about it and read about it , i feel like I should have been there like 100 times. But no. Only once. One magical time in Montreal where I was reborn and re-affirmed my love of consumerism and mass marketing. If i've said it once, I've said it 100 times.. H&M Rules!!!


And on Saturday, I will go there again. All the way in coquitlam certainly not as exotic as Montreal or NYC but at least the travel expense is cheaper. Now I am getting kind of worried that I've blown it up in my mind. Maybe H&M won't be as great as I've imagined in my head. Sure we had one perfect day together but can lightning really strike twice?

And will there really be any clothes left? IN Edmonton, they had to close early when the H&M opened because there was literally no more stock on the first day! Can you imagine?

I mean I haven't traveled anywhere this summer and i've had a lot of stress so I feel like going to H&M and when I went to the Virgina Music Festival in May will end up being my summer highlights! Oh, and my Friend's wedding too. But I really hope H&M lives up my lofty expectations.

Two friends have recently returned from H&M trips abroad and have returned with enviable loads of cute stuff spending like $500 or $1000, in one sitting. Will my H&M Coquitlam experience be able to compete?

Only time will tell......

When you Don't care it happens.....

Isn't weird how life works? Whoeever created the adage "Practise makes Perfect" was sure off base. I find I do better when I don't care. When I am just going through the motions. Like an interview that was casually shrugged off as a 'practise' one or the boy on the side who is just 'warming your bed'; or the random hook-up during which you were preoccupied by what was going to happen on the next O.C. re-run that you barely realized that the Big O was on its way.

Here's to Apathy!!!

R.I.P. Kurt Cobain, your short life has kept me from becoming a major stress case.

Better the Second Time Around

You know what's weird? One of my biggest pet peeves is people who repeat themselves. I hate it and usually zone out. But some repeats I like. I like eating things again and again (potatoe chips anyone?, bacon sandwiches for the entire grade 3 school year anyone? or what about mike's hard lemonade). I Like watching teen reality tv shows over and over again to pick up the subtle thems and moments of film noir and comedy dellarte that would otherwise be glossed over in the exuberance of the whole "DAMN... Oh no she didn't" mentality.

But what I like more than any of that, what I like more than staring at myself in the mirror and eating potatoe chips and watching teen tv shows combined, is finding out what people who I have lost touch with are doing. Is that like repating myself? I feel like it is. Because that person is out of my life, and I for sure don't want him back in my life, but i swear i spend about an hour a day wondering and internet searching and casual name-dropping to mutual aquaintenances to find the dirt.

I guess it's not so much repeating myself as being like a voyeur. A cyber voyeur, if you will. And it can become all-consuming.
You see recently I got a hold of some photos of an old flame completely by chance. And not I am constantly salivating and scouring the Net trying to find more dirt and emailing and messaging mutual aquaintenances. Now one reason, is of course, because on paper my life sounds so much better than his.

Not married, okay fine, i'll give you that one. But I do have my own place that is cool and not a dump. I do have cute hair (that needs a little work, but on the whole it's looking cute when I put the effort in). I have this whole I'm a writer working on my first teen novel thing going.... It's really working for me!!

So now in a effort to combat my PerezHilton addiction, I've taken to scouring the World Wide Web to find my long lost companions and decide for myself if they are better or worse than when we were together. Is that terrible? I kind of think it is!! But that's the beauty of being a cyber voyeur.... No one knows you are watching them.....

How long is too long?

Time is tricky. Sometimes you call someone and you have nothing to say. But you call because you love them and it's time to call. Sometimes you call someone and you can't even get into it; you have too much to say: it's been too long. That person is no longer privy to all the fun little anecdotes you flavour all your relationships with. It takes too much effort. The petty small talk that must happen before you get to all the juicy bits. The what'd you do last nights and the what'd you have for lunches that you must endure before you can make the announcements and start all the fun girly laughing and dissecting that makes conversations so fun.

Sometimes I wish i could just leave messages and set the scene and let the information be heard and we could laugh and gossip in our time about what had transpired. Or that I didn't have to say hello and how are you before I get to hear the latest gossip or spread the news I'm bursting to deliver.

Politeness is so overrated. Already the telephone plays second fiddle to email when it comes to making plans. Now I've started to receive (and I'll admit I begrudgingly partake in this activity sometimes as well, It is so DAMN convenient!) in the thinking of you e-cards and sweet I miss you text messages. If you were really thinking of someone, wouldn't you set aside time to go see them or at least call them.

Imagine if someone came and knocked at your door just to say they were thinking of you and wanted to see what was up. That would be weird. It's nice, I guess, but for the most part annoying and weird and awkward. Then you would have to let them in, feed them, excetra excetra.

Sometimes, I wish, I could just let people read my brain. Not all the time, mind you, I think that would be really uncomfortable for my hairdresser and other randoms, friends and family members that I come in contact with on a daily basis. But just sometimes, when you wanted them to. So you wouldn't just be saying I'm thinking of you, you would actually be doing it and have proof!!!

That would be cool.

DEBT!

okay, so may be this whole self-employed thing isn't really going as well as I expected at first. In my head, I imagined it all coffee shops and meetings and quality lap top time. In reality it is a lot of drinking dirty tap water and religiously reading perez hilton until 3 pm when I watch Amanada Bynes in What I Like About You.
Not really a bad life, really, except for one thing. I have no money! And I keep spending money I don't have. And I don't want to stop. And I won't! So what can I do? I guess I willhave to bite the bullet and get a real job. It was a great dream while it lasted!