Once a cheater, always a cheater.....

If there’s one thing I hate ( and belive me, there are actually many, many things I hate, it’s when someone creates a quip or a saying that isn’t really true but gains popularity because of it’s punch or cuteness. Like “let sleeping dogs lie” Why do you have to let a sleeping dog lie? What if it’s sleeping in the street? Supposedly you are not supposed to wake alseeping dog because it might bite you but dogs are cute when they are waking up not vicious unless it’s like some rabid animal to begin with and then why are you around it anyways?

Or what about the saying “There’s plenty of fish in the sea?” So does make me some kind of ocean predator? I should dump my so-so boyfriend because there are plenty of other fish in the sea? Well what if I don’t want a guppy or a minnow? What if I have like a west coast salmon and I want to know what other salmon are in the ocean? If the news and state of the environment are telling us anything it’s that there are not that many salmon in the sea. Stick with your slightly dwarfed salmon or risk having to settle for a tadpole as your date for the next 10 Saturday nights!

I could go on and on about this. Don’t even get me started on the phrase “at the drop of a hat?” You might as well say whenever mood strikes you. Nobody really wears hats and if they drop it they are certianly in no hurry to pick it up off the ground and put it back on their head. Floors are dirty! Hats are where our hair is… See, where I’m going with this?

But the whole reason I thought to write this rant, was because I herad the phrase “once a cheater, always a cheater”, on the radio. I thought arcaic thoughts like that went out with “the woman belongs in the kitchen.” Saying something like once a cheater always a cheater assumes that people never evolve and never learn anything from their previous relationships. That’s saying every partner is essentially the same person and you are basically re-acting every relationship with someone else over and over again.

The truth is some relationships are bad. Some relationships are good. Sometimes you or your partner do something stupid or mean or inconsiderate. And sometimes you don’t. You shouldn’t be branded with a Scarlet letter just because once you cheated on your ex when you were trying to dump him but didn’t have the guts. You shouldn’t be branded as a cheater because you met someone amazing when you happened to be dating someone not so amazing.

Cheating sucks definietly. It’s cowardly and shady and ultimately dangerous for both you and your partner. But there’s ususally a reason behind cheating and comes from two people, not just one cheater who will always be a cheater.

What about the type of person who always gets cheated on my her/his partner? How come there’s no catchy saying for the pushover that lets her man two-time her all the time and pretends to live in oblivion? Once a doormat, always a doormat? Does that work here?

I’m not a cheater and I never have been and I don’t think I ever will be. I’ve definitely been cheated on. It sucks and hurts not only your morale and your self-esteem but also your ability to trust. But it’s something you get through. It’s something that defines a part of you and you bring into your future relationships whether you are the cheater or the cheatee.

I guess I just find it kind of condescending that people throw out these little single ladies catch phrases like once a cheater always a cheater or there’s plenty of fish in the sea or like whatever is the chic lit catch phrase du jour. It totally minimizes the intelligence of single people and what we can learn from relationships. Relationships are complicated and messy and can’t be understood through bumper sticker slogan or colloquiums. Life is all about relationships and if you could compartmentalize them into these weird slogans then life would be very dull and generic.

I prefer to see relationships as indefinable. Some are easy, sure; some are hard. But like snowflakes each one is different with jagged and smooth surfaces. Each one can melt away in second or grow into something more substantial.

Must Have Monday: GAP 1969 Denim

I’m not an especially big fan of the GAP. I like when their stuff goes on sale super cheap but I rarely covet anything from the GAP. The last time I was like OMG I love this stuff at the GAP was when they were shilling the chunky cable knit turtleneck sweaters of 2002.

But now I am totally under the GAP spell.

Patrick Robinson, the GAP’s creative director has outdone himself with the new line of premium denim 1969. This line brings the quality of $200 designer denim to the masses without sacrificing quality or design. When I went to try on the premium denim myself I was skeptical. I mean I am not interested in sorority or fraternity style denim. Boyfriend jeans? No thanks! Uh ripped jeans? No thanks!

But when I tried on a pair from the Long and Lean line I was smitten. I have never worn denim that was so soft! The last time I even tried on denim that came close to the smoothness and comfyness of the 1969 line was when I tried on a pair of Paper Denim &Cloth jeans. Those were soft but definitely did not have the same amount of stretch as the 1969 line.

And I love the cuts and colours. The one’s with the zippers down the sides are next on my hit list. But for now I’m rocking the light denim long and leans and feel like I am in my pjs. Then are dressy casual. Like today I am wearing them with my runners and a white button down Henley and a stripey cardigan but when I go home, I’ll put on my frye boots and my boyfriend blazer and be ready for a night of patio service and ginger mojitos.

I love my 1969 denim even though the ad is such a rip off of American Apparel.

Favourite Frenchie Friday... Marion Cotillard

There are many reasons I love Marion Cotillard. She was a massive mess as Edith Plath in La Vie En Rose. She was such a crazy mess as Edith that she won a BAFTA, a Golden Globe and an Oscar, becoming the first person to win an Academy Award for a French Language film. She was such a crazy mess that I didn’t realize that she was pretty until awards season, when she stole the show in her Jean Paul Galliano fish tail dress. It was amazing.

Not only that but she is a spokesperson for Greenpeace and even lets them hold meetings in her Paris apartment. She and her director husband are dubbed the French Bradgelina. But somehow she still doesn’t seem annoying.

What really got her in my good books was when I heard that she appeared in two Hawksley Workman videos. Like WTF? Hawksley Workman, for those of you not in the now, is without a doubt, the most underrated songwriter in all of North America. He is Canadian and passionate and writes the most tragic and earnest love songs that make Rufus Wainwright sound like he is singing about chocolate cake and potato chips. Oh Wait that is what RW sings about! ZING!

If you are not familiar with Hawksley Workman, youtube or download Jealous of your Cigarette and you will see what I’m talking about.

Supposedly Marion and hawksley have worked on a bunch of songs for her upcoming album. AMAZING.

She’s also going to be in the movie musical NINE. AMAZING.

She’s also in Public Enemies with Johnny Depp. AMAZING.

She always seems so happy and giggly. AMAZING.

I <3 Marion Cotillard and she is my favourite Frenchie for this Friday!

week in the knees wednesday.... Brandon Reilly of Nightmare of You.

So this week, I am staying with my rocker theme and picking the shaggy-haired, mumbling lead singer of Nightmare of You as my Week in the Knees Wednesday winner.

Brandon Reilly always looks like he will eitehr kick you in the shins or burst into tears. I like that. A lot. I’ve almost forgot aboutr him until I was going through my Itunes and found the precious gem, “I Wanna be Buried in Your Backyard.”

Oh 2002, how I missed you. Blogs were actually interesting. I actually felt like if I dropped myself off in the LES of NYC Ultragrrl and all her friends would invite me to live in their house with the big red door and pose like a heroine addict in front of the infamous wall at MisShapes.

“ For I haven’t slept a week since you’ve been gone/Now I want to be buried in your backyard/And when the flowers grow just know you’re still in my heart”… I used to listen to this song on repeat at work all the time. Imagining that there was someone out there who was sensitive enough to be so outwardly vulnerable, so grandiose and so earnest.

That is Brandon reilly. Tortured, skinny and rarely cracking a smile, he is a rockstar without the glamour, a hipster without the overwhelming irony and a regular guy without the regular.

He is a screw up and a romantic and his songs make me think I am in the 80s listening to the Smiths or the Commitments or some English band that has a really tortured lead singer with a non-chalant gay vibe.

I love you Brandon Reilly and I miss 2002!

Must Have Monday.... Green tea Ginger Ale...

I love me some pop. I know, it can be bad for you, what with the caffeine and the asparmatame and the glucose bi-carbonate, but pa-sha! I love me some zero cola and I don’t care what anyone says zero carbs, zero sugars, zero calories equal plenty of goodness for me. But then one day I was at the good ole Petro Can and I was like why should I buy a zero when I have zero at home? So I bought something else. Something different. And something magical happened. I discovered… Canada Dry Green Tea Ginger Ale. It is so good.

Now some of you might say Green tea pop is everything that is wrong with our consumerist culture. To you I say… Have you tried it? I can’t belive no one made green tea pop sooner. It’s AMAZING ( imagine me talking in my white girl drag queen voice) AMAZING!

I never really liked Ginger Ale. I used to think it was like th pop that those girls drink that are like oh I never have any sugar! (FYI these girls are the same ones who get tipsy after sucking on wine gums!) Or Ginger Ale is what you are forced to drink when you are sick and you’ve been forced to gargle with salt water for 3 minutes straight! (eek! Elementary school flashback!)

Whatever my deep psychological reasons for shying away from Canada Dry, I’m right on board with Green tea Ginger Ale. It’s so yummy and I have a feeling there might have to be a dance battle in my mouth between zero and greentea to see which is my tastebuds’ favourite.

Oh yeah! The gaunlet has been drawn!

Canada Dry Green Tea Ginger Ale is my first Must Have Monday.

Favourite Frenchie Friday.....Vanessa Paradis.

So why do I love Vanessa Paradis? Is it because she has a funny shaped head like and egg and a gap-toothed grin? Noo… but that is definitely part of her charm. She is the woman that has finally tamed Johnny Depp and together they seem to live this fabulous bourgeoisie hippie life on a farm in the South of France.

Actually my fascination with Vanessa Paradis began in the early 90s when she was dating Lenny Kravitz in his “Are you Gonna Go My Way” days and was the spokesmodel for Coco Perfume. She released a U.S. albulm to little fanfare except all the cool NYC girls in Jane magazine were in love with her; and so I was too. Download “Be My Baby” and you’ll see why. She’s child-like and bird like and a little weird. She has hardly aged since the 90s but she still manages to look her age.

She’s an accomplished actress in many French films including like the only one that I really know well, La Fille sur la pont ( the Girl on the Bridge). If you haven’t seen these movie. You must. It’s about a suicidal girl who becomes the target girl for a travelling knife throwing act. So. Good.

She always whispers in interviews and says her biggest vice is bubble gum. Hello? You are with Johnny Depp and you biggest vice is bubble gum?? Oh Mon dieu!

C’est la vie. I guess that’s what he’s into. Johnny Depp eats roaches ( it’s true… look it up) and Vanessa Paradis chews too much bubble gum. It’s a match made in weirdo heaven. And I love it. Vanessa Paradis is my first Favourite Frenchie Friday!

Thursday: You are a Robot if….

Today’s you are robot if features one of my favourite new singers, Taylor Swift. Sure she’s young and supposedly country.

But her diary confessional lyrics and her bouncy curly hair make me like her.. a lot. I bought her CD! Not ashamed to admit it. I sometimes cry when this song comes on my Ipod. A bit ashamed to admit it.

But I mean come on she relased this video around Mother’s Day. She says her best friend is her mom! It’s actual home movies of her and her mom!

I don't know who I'm gonna talk to now at school
But I know I'm laughing on the car ride home with you
Don't know how long it's gonna take to feel okay
But I know I had the best day with you today.

This video is so cute and heart warming and if it doesn’t make you cry or a bit teary-eyed or want to call your mom, then face it… you are a robot!